Month: November 2017

I was a very young preschooler when my mom left the east cost and my biological dad. It was just the three of us. My mom, older sister and I went to make a new start in the west. My mom having so much courage to start new, to make a great home for us with little to no money.

This did not stop her, she worked tirelessly giving not only a roof over our heads but giving us attention becoming mom/dad to my sister and I . My hats always been off to my brave mom but I didn’t always act this way. Being so young I had no idea what was really going on. Because I did not understand or know much at the time for a while I acted out. That’s putting it nicely, I did everything that would make the average person want to pull their hair out.

To my moms credit she kept her hair. She did what is so hard to do, She showed me love and kindness in spite of my actions. She would hold me tighter even during my fight.

I am sure time dragged on for my mom but her loving actions paid off BIG time. I finally gave up the fight I allowed my mom to love me. I accepted what was going on, I was still hurting but I knew I had a soft place to fall.

I not only had my mom and sister but down the road I had a man who chose us, he married my mom and gave my sister and I his last name. Talk about love.

I reflect on this today because I have people in my life that seem to be so unlovable but I know I need to show love just like I was shown.

I not only was shown such awesome love by my mom and dad but my heavenly father as well and because that I get to live loved and when I live loved my actions are not based on those of other people. I just love the SO unlovable.

Zephaniah 3:17 The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

I love Thanksgiving! It has always been my favorite holiday, with all the good things that come from the kitchen. The recipes that are only done once a year it brings excitement and joy to me. While I am in the kitchen cooking or in the dinning room setting the table with all the colors of autumn I can hear laughing and yes even the arguing. I wouldn’t change any of it.

This is so pleasing to me and gives me an appreciation of my life and reminds me of what gifts I have been blessed with.

Even in my darkest of times when my children were growing up, their dad was with us drinking or using, I still could see the little bit of joy this holiday would bring. It might not last long because with an addict you never know how much time you have of peace but I would embrace it while I could and make the most of it so my children would have happy memories and I would have some of my own.

My life has changed so much from those days and my grown children have complemented me on having good holidays but I must give credit to God for he was with us even in the darkest of the days and we can enjoy today for what it is.

With Thanksgiving and the holidays coming up I reflect with gratitude on my life. I think of how I like to garden and how it compares with life.

As you plant you prepare the soil, plant your seeds then water but in doing so you also know that weeds will be coming as well as what you planted. It takes work to keep the weeds from over taking, in fact it is easier to grow weeds than the plants you want.

Isn’t life just like that, it takes such hard continuous work to keep healthy.

Unhealthy thoughts of ungratefulness, anger, unforgivness, worry….the list can go on with thoughts that can over take us and still our joy. If we don’t keep up on our weeding we lose our joy making it so easy to only see the problems in our life.

In my past with those dark days I couldn’t let the weeds over take me and I’m sure not going to now. I have to do my daily weeding in the morning when my mind is fresh and before my day gets going. As I have my prayer, medication and devotions I have to mentally pull out my weeds, even the ones that are just coming up or they could so easily take over. I choose daily to have a garden of gratitude not one of whiny weeds.

Do you have some weeding to do in your garden before the big day of thankfulness comes?

Philippians 4:7 “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

I am one of the millions that look forward to Tuesday nights just to tune into “This is Us”. Over the summer I looked forward to the start of season two with such anticipation and so far it has been just as good as the first season. I laugh, I cry and discuss the show with my fellow viewers. My son tells me its my soap opera but I don’t care its just that good.

As I watched last night one of the main characters Kevin who by all accounts has it all, looks, money, career a loving family. It shows him spiraling down. It shows him reliving the major event in his life that changed every dream he had of being a star football player, he gets injured and has to face saying good-by to what he wanted. I found the part in the show when his loving dad tells him yes he has naturel talent for football and he was awesome at it but that he has other things he is great at too, how true.

Yes its just a show but I thought how many times life changes in a blink of an eye. That job, marriage, house, relationship or good health becomes no longer.

We are left feeling like the rug was pulled out from under us. The questions of what will I do or become now? How will I go on?

I know from experience that it’s in those times when I feel the worse if I turn to God he is there. If I allow him to lead and comfort me things will be as they are but my attitude will be better and in time even get good again.

That wonderful cycle of life, the ability to move forward and grow is what makes us better people. If I never had pain I would never be able to know the feeling of such delight and joy or have as much compassion as I do.

To embrace our changes in our directions and enjoy the detour, we might realize we are better off.

Psalm 30:5b

“..weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.”

Colossians 4:5-6

“Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time. Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.”

What great advice! If you wonder like me on how to live or treat others this is one passage that tells us. I find this so needed now more than ever. For me to live in such a way that my experience, knowledge and good judgment is shared in a loving manner to those around me who may not have the same faith or value system but that are in need of what I can offer without judgment. Notice it does not say walk in judgment and as if you know it all toward them that are with out, big difference! The passage says to share the quality of being wise not share you options.

Next it says how to speak. If we speak with unmerited favor (grace) what major problems can be eliminated if only that pinch of salt is added.

Salt when added to a dish adds flavor, makes you thirst for more. It also has a chemical way it helps, when added to baking it helps slow down the other ingredients so they can do what they should so the dish turns out.

So when we talk with “salt” if will add a positive good feeling leaving others wanting more not less and in time things turn out.

Pretty simple  yet good advise but can be so hard to do but it can be done if we just keep trying.

I woke up today realizing that my usual motivated self could have just stayed in full jammies mode, doing nothing all day sounded like music to my tired ears. I thought how is it that my motivation just up and went on vacation. It packed up and just went without any warning, I mean really how rude.

I went to bed felling happy and ready to take on the world. My many plans that were in my head seemed so doable.  I smiled at some and thought of others as I cant wait to cross those ones off. I left them as plans falling asleep not realizing that upon waking I would be lacking my motivation.

Another time in my life I would have thought what is wrong with me? I am learning that some days my normal take on the word self is not there anymore. I am ok with just doing what I can, accepting what can’t be done and if I get the blessing of another day I can and will do better then.

My body that would be able to train for and run a marathon at times reminds me its ok to rest. I am not lesser than because I might need to reschedule somethings for another time. I now have compassion for others that I might have looked down upon for not being motivated. I somehow thought that REST was a four letter dirty word.

Rest is not a weakness. It is much-needed to enhance your life and brings peace. I take a lesson from the nature. I love the autumn, it is natures last celebration before the rest of winter.  In winter almost all is resting and getting ready for the new growth of spring and the full action of summer.

Today my motivation may be on vacation but it didn’t pack all its bags, I know it will be back. I will rest and be ready for its return.

Isaiah 26:3

“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.”